2012: The year I’d like to remember forever

Francesca, Kara, and Gracie

On most days, I feel like I look pretty much like this… Hope to keep it up!

“In a couple of hours, three to be exact, I will welcome 2012 with open arms and a will to let go. I will work extra hard into making this a possibility: no more hurts, no more stress — just a brand new me that I seek to find here, in the other side of the world. Since academics, work, and a few personal things were a difficult juggling act to balance this year, I will do my best to devote time to recharging and moving forward.

Resolutions are not for me, as I struggle to keep up with them in the first place. What I’m promising myself for 2012, though, is that I’m 100% committed to establishing a better foundation for my future—one that is not to be shaken and one that is driven by faith and by hope. Hopefully, love comes along, too—but until then, I’m quite happy with how things have and will turn out. All for the best, as they say. Hello, 2012!”

The excerpt above was from my last entry exactly this day last year. I wrote it in San Francisco (where I spent half of 2012) with a sense of helpless pleading–pleading for the year to be nothing but the best. After a taxing and emotionally challenging 2011, I did not think I would make it if I were to be thrown into another battle much like was it was. In a sense, one might say that I have given up, lost my fighting spirit. But to me, however, it was more of a submission to fate. I was done fighting. I did not want to fight anything in the coming year.

So I decided that this would be my outlook for 2012: accept, accept, accept, and everything will follow. It did. 

Rewriting my story

Photo credit: http://leilockheart.tumblr.com

Since the New Year has already begun in the Philippines, I’ve come across a number of blog entries my friends and some people have made about what they’ve learned about 2011. Judging from the posts I saw, I think it’s safe to say that people, as a collective, have learned to become stronger this past year. As cliché as I’m going to sound, I, too, am part of that number of wandering souls. I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this entry, but all I know is that I want to remember this last day of 2011 as my last push to get out of the rut I’ve been in.

In a couple of hours, three to be exact, I will welcome 2012 with open arms and a will to let go. I will work extra hard into making this a possibility: no more hurts, no more stress — just a brand new me that I seek to find here, in the other side of the world. Since academics, work, and a few personal things were a difficult juggling act to balance this year, I will do my best to devote time to recharging and moving forward. I’ve begun my journey of finding myself late this year and although I’ve made great progress in all aspects, I guess the fulfillment didn’t lie in the same place that wounded me in the beginning. I am hopeful for my long stay in this city, really, because even though it doesn’t feel like I left home (I have wonderful family with me and I thank the Lord for that. More on this soon.), the promise of a new adventure everyday is what I know I need to rebuild the pieces of me.

Resolutions are not for me, as I struggle to keep up with them in the first place. What I’m promising myself for 2012, though, is that I’m 100% committed to establishing a better foundation for my future — one that is not to be shaken and one that is driven by faith and by hope. Hopefully, love comes along, too — but ’til then, I’m quite happy with how things have and will turn out. I’m getting better and I believe that this constant battle is one that I was destined to fight.

All for the best, as they say. Hello, 2012!