“In a couple of hours, three to be exact, I will welcome 2012 with open arms and a will to let go. I will work extra hard into making this a possibility: no more hurts, no more stress — just a brand new me that I seek to find here, in the other side of the world. Since academics, work, and a few personal things were a difficult juggling act to balance this year, I will do my best to devote time to recharging and moving forward.
Resolutions are not for me, as I struggle to keep up with them in the first place. What I’m promising myself for 2012, though, is that I’m 100% committed to establishing a better foundation for my future—one that is not to be shaken and one that is driven by faith and by hope. Hopefully, love comes along, too—but until then, I’m quite happy with how things have and will turn out. All for the best, as they say. Hello, 2012!”
The excerpt above was from my last entry exactly this day last year. I wrote it in San Francisco (where I spent half of 2012) with a sense of helpless pleading–pleading for the year to be nothing but the best. After a taxing and emotionally challenging 2011, I did not think I would make it if I were to be thrown into another battle much like was it was. In a sense, one might say that I have given up, lost my fighting spirit. But to me, however, it was more of a submission to fate. I was done fighting. I did not want to fight anything in the coming year.
So I decided that this would be my outlook for 2012: accept, accept, accept, and everything will follow. It did.
Thank you, San Francisco, for being the most beautiful city I’ll always keep close to my heart–you have allowed me to love writing and photography again, to value time alone (I will forever be grateful for that), and to always long for a new adventure. If there’s anything you’ve taught me, it’s that at the end of the day, you always have to be strong enough to save yourself. I am strong enough now and I know you’re proud. Thank you for the wonderful six months together. I promise to be back–maybe for a longer stay this time around.
Thank you to the University of San Francisco, my professors, friends, and the strangers in buses, stations, and stores for helping me realize that independence isn’t so hard to learn. To Francesca, Gracie, Natalia, Debora, Rachel, Nat, Jon and to all the people I have learned to love there, I miss you all and I hope to be reunited with you again soon. I’ll have to start saving up for flights to Italy, Brazil, and Malaysia and I know it would probably burn a hole through my pocket but I know that those trips will all be worth it.
Thank you to The GUIDON, ACOMM, and to Ateneo for welcoming me back with open arms. I will be honest: I thought it would be hard to love you again after coming back from JTA, but you made me it so easy for me to fall back into your arms. Thank you, Miley, for being the best thesis partner anyone could have asked for! Four amazing years in college are about to end, but the memories it has given me are definitely here to stay. Thank you for the stress, the good times, and the laughter, most especially. You all have made senior year a breeze.
Thank you to The Foghorn, asianTraveler and Mabuhay for believing in me. Thank you for publishing me this year–I am beyond grateful for these opportunities. Thank you for pushing me to further develop my craft.
Thank you, Professor Raeburn and Sir Aguas, for inspiring me to become a teacher in the future. For years now, I haven’t been quite sure about what I want to do after college. It has always been as vague as, “I want to help.” Thank you for finally helping me decide on what I want my career to become. Teach for the Philippines, I am ready for you.
Kay Tatay Jesse, Nanay Josefina, Tatay Alex, Nanay Dina at Ren-ren, salamat sa pagkupkop niyo sa akin sa mga nakaraang imersyong naganap ngayong taong ito. Salamat sa pagmamahal at sa inspirasyong iniwanan niyo sa akin. Babalik po ako ng Sitio Alunan, Zambales at Puncan, Nueva Ecija. Sana po ay makapagturo ako sa inyong lugar sa hinaharap.
Thank you, Mom, Dad, and Franco, for forever being there for me. All this would not have been possible without you. Thank for bringing me up to be the person I am now for without you, I wouldn’t have reached greater heights. You have always inspired me to strive hard, work hard–this is all for you.
To all the friends I have made this year and to everyone I hold dear to my heart, thank you for being with me every step of the way. Gone are the sappy, I-don’t-want-to-live-anymore days–here’s to a brighter year ahead of us all.
To Mawi, thank you for teaching me how to love again. You are my favorite blessing.
Thank you, Lord, for all of this year. And although this is one that I’d like to relive a thousand times over, I am more than ready for 2013.