On Looking Back

It’s funny how you go through your old blog entries, read them one by one, and stumble upon an entry that couldn’t have explained your situation any better. I never thought I prepared myself for the future when I wrote this a year ago.

Good job, self.

“Although I am filled with a great sense of accomplishment, standing up on my feet was not an easy target. I still wished you were there to go through the tossing and turning, the praying for a miracle, the pretending-you-were-there’s. Being able to have my hand held by the man I love would have made the difference.

I used to believe that only you could make me feel better, that only you could blow the fears away, because I didn’t believe in my power to take control of me. I did it Jan, and I made it all by myself.”

See: 24 Days and Counting —

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